The Chronicles of Edwin, Ch. 10 "Lunch"

A sandwich, some lettuce to go on the sandwich, a bag of vegetable, some grapes, some ranch dressing, and a granola bar lay out on the table.  The sandwich was turkey and provolone on whole grain bread with spicy mustard and mayo (mayo on the cheese side, mustard with the meat, the way it should be).  Edwin began by opening the little clear container with the red lid containing the dip and his bag of assorted veggies.

First he takes note of how many celery sticks he has, three today, yesterday it was five but they were smaller.  Then he takes a little broccoli floret and cleans out the ranch on the inside of the lid.  He cannot afford to waste even a little.  Then he starts on the celery.  He always does.  It's the most disgusting.  It's bitter, stringy, noisy, and cumbersome.

CRUNCH, MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

People are glancing his way.  Edwin imagined what they must be thinking, why don't you go outside with your lunch?  Edwin wondered that himself, but continued munching.

With the celery gone, it was time to move to the cauliflower.  What on earth is a cauliflower?  Certainly not a flower.  Edwin thought it would be amusing to give a girl a "bouquet" of cauliflowers.  After the cauliflower comes the broccoli.  Maybe cauliflowers are albino broccoli?  They look a lot alike.  Edwin likes broccoli much better though.  Does that make him racist against albinos?  He likes albino Burmese Pythons, so probably not.  Last came the baby carrots.  Whose idea was that?  To pick carrots before they mature and eat them?  There's something barbaric about eating babies.  Even if they are carrots.  Well, his veggie bag is now empty, sealed and back in the lunch box.

Grapes or sandwich next?  Edwin chose the sandwich.  He got it out of its bag and got out the lettuce and put in in the sandwich.  having prepared his sandwich n=many times before, he knew to separate the halves between slices of turkey.  If one tries to pull off the bread it falls apart.  It has been in that bag for quite some time by lunch and the mayo and mustard have effectively glued the bread to the cheese and meat.  So inserting the lettuce between the cheese and meat or between two slices of meat is the only way to really do it well.  So, that done, Edwin takes a big bite.  Two more bites and the sandwich is halfway gone.  That is when he holds the sandwich firmly in the middle and eats around getting all the crust.  That way the final bite is all the best stuff, and usually the meat is thickest in the center of the sandwich too.  It's all about that last bite.   Edwin shoves it into his mouth and chews, enjoying the flavor of the turkey and the slightly more dominating taste of the spicy mustard.  Edwin's mother makes a good sandwich.

Time for "dessert".  Grapes are so delicious.  They seem somewhat exotic, even sensual.  Edwin had seen many pictures and scenes in movies where lovers lay supine, one feeding the other grapes from the vine.  Sometimes Edwin wished he had a lover to feed him grapes, or to feed grapes too.  Not that the common area he was sitting was particularly romantic, but Edwin's mind was usually off somewhere else anyway.  He finished the grapes and opened the granola bar.  It said crunchy on the package, talk about truth in advertising.  It was solid.  Edwin had to be careful how he bit into the granola bar because he had one tooth on his lower jaw that was out of place and stuck up above the rest.  It would get agitated if he bit something too hard.  Edwin had mastered the art of eating though, and was enjoying his crunchy peanunbuttery treat.  Boy was it messy though.

Edwin brushed himself off and put away his trash.  He took a long drink from his water bottle and put that down.  He opened his backpack and pulled out his Bible.  It was quiet time, then homework till class later.  People walked by in the common area going about their lives and Edwin sat and gave a sigh before diving into the Word.